One year ago, one of my good friends stopped by to wish my well after the recent birth of my baby. Unfortunately, I was not home when she stopped by. When I arrived home, however, I discovered a smiling pot of tulips waiting for me by the front door! Mmmm..something about spring flours makes my heart skip a beat.

I thoroughly enjoyed the tulips for a few weeks until they wilted and died. In hopes that I would be able to enjoy them again the following year, I put the pot out on my back porch. Despite my best intentions, life caught up with me and over the course of a year, I completely forgot about the pot on my back porch.

You can imagine my surprise and delight when my little Kate discovered little green leaves poking through the parched dirt in this pot a couple of weeks ago. I had completely neglected this plant; it had not seen a drop of water in a year's time! And yet, in spite of my neglect, the tulip bulbs sprouted and began to grow. I stared in wonder at the completely dehydrated dirt with small, green signs of life poking through the surface.

All I needed was that little sign of life and I was immediately motivated to care for my tulips. Between water and sunlight, my tulips are flourishing and growing at an alarming rate. While seemingly insignificant to some, this experience touched my heart and has turned my thoughts heavenward over the last couple weeks.

As I have pondered about this experience, my mind has turned toward Alma 32 repeatedly - a chapter in the Book of Mormon known for its discourse about faith. The Lord gives us these stirring and hopeful words in Alma 32:27-28:

"But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.

Now, we will compare the word unto a seed. Now, if ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your unbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves—It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me."

I can't think of a better way to describe how my experience with my tulips relates to life. I think we all have times where we feel like all we can do is desire to believe, and that is okay. God is so powerful that He can take our desires, and He can help them grow into something much greater if we will just give Him the chance. 

Many times, our soil may be parched and our pot may be in the shade, so to speak. But there is something miraculous about those seeds - they want to grow. And they will try as hard as they can to grow on their own. However, they can only survive so long without nurturing care on our part. If I hadn't noticed my tulips and moved them into the sun and watered them, certainly they would not have flourished. Just the same, our testimonies can only grow to their full potential if we nourish them and allow the Lord to lead us along.

I've been learning an important lesson recently about the important role of prayer in this process (and yes, it definitely is a process with ups and downs, twists and turns.) I am definitely guilty of kneeling down to pray at night and waking up 30 minutes later trying to figure out what in the world happened. I have been making a conscious effort to improve this problem and I have noticed a distinct pattern - the better my prayers are, the better my days go and the better I feel. This is certainly no coincidence.

I used to read in the scriptures that we are supposed to "pray always" and I wondered how in the world that was possible. How is it possible to always be praying? There are so many other things going on during the day, and I cannot think of two things at once (hopefully I am not unique in this regard.) As I was studying my scriptures last night, I found this gem:

"Yea, and when you do not cry unto the Lord, let your hearts be full, drawn out in prayer unto him continually for your welfare, and also for the welfare of those who are around you.

 And now behold, my beloved brethren, I say unto you, do not suppose that this is all; for after ye have done all these things, if ye turn away the needy, and the naked, and visit not the sick and afflicted, and impart of your substance, if ye have, to those who stand in need—I say unto you, if ye do not any of these things, behold, your prayer is vain, and availeth you nothing, and ye are as hypocrites who do deny the faith." ~Alma 34:27-28

Praying always does not mean that we are always saying a physical prayer. Everything that we do throughout the day can be extensions of our prayers. If our actions are aligned with our prayers and righteous desires, they can be a continuations of our prayers. In this way, we truly can pray ALWAYS. I don't know of anything that can nourish those seeds in our hearts and make them grow more quickly than continual communication with Father in Heaven.

I am thankful for a Heavenly Father who knows me and knows what lessons I need to be learning. I am thankful for the reminders all around us in this beautiful world that can teach us of His ways and remind us of Him. I know that He loves us. Please feel free to comment below with experiences you've had where the Lord has taught you an important lesson in an unexpected way.

The adventures that come with being a mom never seem to cease. Somehow, the best job in the world can also feel like the worst job in the world. This last month, I felt like I was stuck in a parenting rut and couldn't find my way out.

Kate was being so darn stubborn and difficult, throwing multiple tantrums a day, and I felt like we were always butting heads. I dreaded waking up in the morning because I knew what was coming, and to be honest, I usually did not feel emotionally ready to face the screaming and the attitude (or as we call it in our home, "tude".) Finally, thanks to the inspired visiting teaching message that a dear friend shared with me, I realized that I had not done a good job of taking my problem to the Lord. All this time I had been struggling, why hadn't I thought to take it to my Father in Heaven?

So, that is just what I did. I began to pray that Heavenly Father would help my dear, sweet Kate become dear and sweet again. Now, anyone who has ever prayed for a change in someone else is probably laughing at this point because they know exactly what is coming next. To my surprise, a change in Kate was not the answer that came. Rather, the Lord helped me recognize multiple things that I needed to change. Talk about a large piece of humble pie.

As hard as that pie was to swallow, I decided to take a bite, so to speak, and try to make some  changes. As I began to implement the inspired changes, something amazing happened: Kate's behavior almost immediately improved. Kate and I were both noticeably happier. We got along better. We enjoyed our time together. There was a happier and more peaceful spirit in our home.The more I ate that humble pie, the easier it got to swallow and the more delicious it tasted as I saw the results that came from the changes I was making.

While I never would have chosen to endure a power struggle with a little girl, I am thankful for this experience and all that it taught me. I've always heard, "The only person you can change is yourself," but this experience made this statement a reality. I think that part of why change is so hard is because there is so much power that can come to us through making a change - but we have to earn it. And the adversary doesn't want us to realize how much power we actually do have. He wants us to feel helpless.

The changes that I made in myself were small, but they completely altered our home and provided an environment for Kate that inspired her to improve as well. Do we still have temper tantrums? Of course we do. (And when I say "we," yes, I am including myself in that statement.) Do we still have hard days? Definitely. However, I have learned the power that lies in my role as mother. As a mother, I play a major role in defining the kind of spirit that thrives within the walls of our home. I need to expect that my family will follow my lead, and if that lead is not a good one, how can I expect them to do better than I am doing myself?

I am thankful for a Heavenly Father who knows exactly how to answer my prayers. I am grateful that He gives me exactly what I need, not exactly what I want. He knows how to help me get the most out of my earthly experiences and make me better than I was before. Being a mom is the hardest thing I have ever done, but it is definitely the best thing I have ever done. The growing pains really do hurt; oh, how they hurt. But I can feel confident at the end of the day that I am standing a little taller if I handle them with love and grace that can only come from divine help.

I can't honestly say that I am looking forward to the next hurdle, but I can say that I am looking forward to the result: a better me. I know that if we take the problems to the Lord, He will bless us and help us. Sometimes, we may not recognize His answers because they will not always be exactly what we asked for. But those answers come - they always do.