I've been reflecting a lot recently about where I was in my life three years ago. Three years ago, I was getting ready to go on a mission. I was in the process of finishing my papers and was planning on submitting them in early January, three months before I would turn 21. I had received a clear answer that I this is what I needed to do, and I was both scared and excited.

By the time Christmas break rolled around, I started having some confusion as to whether or not I had made the right decision. I could not tell if this was the Spirit prompting me and telling me that going on a mission right now was wrong, or if the adversary was trying to keep me from doing the right thing. Needless to say, I spent many weeks feeling confused and lost as I searched for an answer. In fact, I never received a clear answer from the Lord regarding my decision while I was seeking His help.

Christmas break ended and I returned to BYU with my mission papers complete and an appointment with my stake president for my final interview before their submission. Because I had not received an answer, I decided to continue moving forward with my plans to go on a mission and have faith that the Lord would stop me if it was the wrong choice.

The evening of my interview with my stake president came and I felt physically ill. Just  the thought of going to that interview made me sick, and I knew in my heart that this was my answer. I was devastated. I had been so excited to go on a mission! Not only that, but I had been so sure that the Lord had confirmed to me that the decision to go on a mission was right. Had I misunderstood the promptings and answers that I'd received? Had I done something to upset Him? I must admit, I began to doubt my ability to receive and understand revelation. I thought I had done something wrong.

At the time that I was making the decision as to whether or not I should serve a mission, I was also considering doing study abroad the following spring/summer if I did not go on a mission. By the time I received the answer that I should not go on a mission after all, deadlines for study abroad had passed. I never felt angry at God, but I did feel frustrated that the answer did not come in time for me to sign up to study abroad instead. All of my plans had been thwarted, and I had no idea what I was supposed to do anymore. I was lost.

My feelings of frustration persisted for a few months. Furthermore, I began to feel like the reason the Lord did not want me to go on a mission was because I was inadequate or not good enough. This thought was devastating to me, and although looking back I recognize that these thoughts came from the adversary, they were very upsetting at the time. Needless to say, I had a rough few months.

Luckily, things began to look up when I started dating a handsome fellow and good friend of mine. Our relationship progressed quickly, and it didn't take long for us to realize that the Lord had brought us together for a reason. As wonderful as a mission would have been, I found something that brought me so much more happiness than a mission ever could have. While a mission would have brought me a great deal of joy, the Lord had something much greater in store for me.

Looking back, I see the tender mercies of the Lord in my life to a great degree in this instance. If I had received the answer that I was not supposed to go on a mission sooner, I probably would have applied for study abroad and I would not have started dating Daniel. Not only this, but there were specific people who were in my ward that spring and summer that I know the Lord needed me to meet for reasons that are not pertinent to this story. He had not waited to give me the answer I sought because He was not hearing my prayers, but because He knew that it was not the right time for me to receive that answer. Oh how grateful I am today that He waited to answer my prayers!

Additionally, the Lord knew that I needed to go through the process of preparing to go on a mission. I became a better woman and I was more prepared to be a wife and a mother because of my preparation to serve the Lord. I learned for myself that I was willing to follow the Lord's promptings and do what He needs me to do. In my instance, the process of preparing to serve taught me what I needed to know in order to move on to the next stage of my life.

While it was frustrating to have changes in plans and the absence of answers, looking back I can see that these frustrations were in fact tender mercies that led me to where I am today. I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father and His true love for me. I am grateful that He loves me enough to give me what I need for my eternity, not what I want in finite moments. The sweet family that I have today is my greatest blessing in this life, and I know that the Lord led me to the place where I am now. He is so aware of us, and He will lead us where we need to go if we will just have faith in Him and His will.

I finished reading the Book of Mormon again today. No matter how many times I read it, this beautiful book never ceases to amaze me. The Book of Mormon is a miracle sent directly from Heavenly Father to us! As I read the Book of Mormon this time, I was struck by the vivid descriptions that the prophets gave of our time. There is no doubt that they truly saw our world today and tailored the messages they wrote to us. It is filled with important lessons and evidences of the Lord's tender mercies. In fact, in and of itself, it is a tender mercy. It is revelation specific to our day and time so that we can remain faithful and true through the turbulent times in which we live.

The Book of Mormon stands as a witness that God hears and answers prayers. Along with the Bible, the Book of Mormon testifies that God loves His children and He listens to their desires and their needs. If nothing else, the Book of Mormon is a record of God's merciful interactions with His children through prayer. God is not silent - He spoke to His children then, and He still speaks to His children today. His arms are always outstretched toward us, and He will give us multiple opportunities to come unto Him, just as He has done for His children in days past.

Another treasure that I discovered during my study of the Book of Mormon was this: when we remember the many things that the Lord has done for us, we will remain righteous. When we forget the many things that He has done for us, we will fall into wickedness. This tender mercy is ever important in a world that is forgetting the very being who created them! By remembering what the Lord has done for us, we can remain humble and acknowledge that His will is more important than our will.

I came across a quote in the margin of my scriptures while I was reading today. I don't have the source written down, but the words are profound and ring true to me:

"Righteous character becomes eternal when we exercise self-control." (Anonymous)

 As we align our will with God's will, we will have increased power to exercise self-control because we will remember what is truly important. We see this in the Book of Mormon time and time again! As people remember God and are righteous, they are given increased strength to exercise self-control and remain righteous. This same principle and promise applies to us today.

My mind has been turned recently toward the beauty and miracle of habits. We are creatures of habit, and although it may not seem such at times, this is a tender mercy! While bad habits are destructive, there is also incredible power to be found in good habits. And we have the power to form good habits! This is truly a gift from Heavenly Father. He can help us form righteous habits that will bring much happiness in this life and in the life to come. As the people in the Book of Mormon established righteous habits of having faith in Jesus Christ, repenting, being baptized, keeping their covenants, receiving the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end, they were truly strengthened and given power to remain faithful.

The Book of Mormon ends with a powerful plea to come unto Jesus Christ and be perfected in Him. The Book of Mormon is our road map to developing a personal relationship with Jesus Christ while we are here on earth and becoming like Him so that we can return and live with God again. There is only one way back, and that is through Jesus Christ.

I wish I had time to write about all of the tender mercies that I see in the scriptures. But perhaps it is better anyway that I leave that to you to discover for yourselves. I can't think of a better way to close than with the words of Mormon to his son Moroni:

"...be faithful in Christ...may Christ lift thee up, and may his sufferings and death, and the showing his body unto our fathers, and his mercy and long-suffering, and the hope of his glory and of eternal life, rest in your mind forever.

And may the grace of God the Father, whose throne is high in the heavens, and our Lord Jesus Christ, who sitteth on the right hand of his power, until all things shall become subject unto him, be, and abide with you forever. Amen." (Moroni 9:25-26)

I have the pleasure of teaching Sunday School to the youth that are 12 and 13 years old at church. Our lesson last week was about finding answers to our questions. This got me thinking about times when Heavenly Father has helped me find answers to my questions. I know that the Lord always hears and answers my prayers, but there is one instance in particular that stands out in my mind, partially because of its recency.

About six months ago, our stake president challenged everyone to pray and ask what their spiritual gifts are. I decided to take him up on that challenge, and I prayed to my Heavenly Father and asked Him to help me recognize my gifts. The answer did not come. What was I doing wrong? I was sticking to the challenge by praying and pondering about what gifts I could possibly have. Still, no answer came.

I prayed for a few months to find my answer until, eventually, I began to forget about it. I did not feel like the Lord had abandoned me. Rather, I assumed that I still needed some time to develop the seeds of His gifts before I could acknowledge them. Life moved on and I quickly forgot about my quest to find my spiritual gifts as I became busy with preparations for moving.

Moving was really hard at first - much harder than I had initially anticipated. In my mind, moving was going to be nothing but an incredible adventure! To my surprise, I felt really lonely. I missed my friends and family. I got lost every time I tried to go somewhere. I was pushed outside of my comfort zone in many regards, and I felt vulnerable. Little did I know, the Lord was putting me where I needed to be so that I could receive an answer to my prayers of many months past.

At this point, it was about four or five months after our stake president had challenged us to search for our spiritual gifts. The prayers that I'd said regarding the subject were distant from my mind, but Heavenly Father had not forgotten. In fact, I believe that He was waiting to answer those prayers until it was the perfect time for me.

Something about moving to West Virginia made it the perfect opportunity for me to recognize the answer to my plea. As I was pushed outside of my comfort zone, I had experiences that the Lord later brought to my mind. He helped me recognize that I had been able to act in a specific way because I had a gift! He helped me see two gifts that I'd had for a long time, but had not even realized that they were gifts. These experiences illuminated my mind and the Lord used them to answer my prayers.

This has been a tender mercy from the Lord in so many ways. Simply receiving an answer to that prayer was a tender mercy because it helped me feel the Lord's love for me. It strengthened my testimony that He truly does hear my prayers, but He answers them at the right time. Often, the ideal time and the right time are not the same. Ideally, that answer would have come right when I had asked for it. However, I realize now that it would not have been the right time for that answer to come.

By waiting to answer when He did, the Lord testified to me that He hears and remember every prayer that I pray. While I would have appreciated the answer had it come six months ago, it meant so much more to me when it came amidst my time of adjustment. At a time when I was feeling lonely and so small, the Lord reached out to me and let me know that He remembered me. This tender mercy gave me strength and happiness at a time when I needed it desperately.

I know that we all have a loving Heavenly Father who hears our prayer and answers them. Those answers may not come right away, but they will undoubtedly come at the right time. If we will stay close to the Spirit, He will help us recognize those answers when they do come! Just as we could never forget our own children, the Lord can never forget us. Bringing to pass our immortality and eternal life is His work and His glory (Moses 1:39)! I am grateful for my Heavenly Father, and that He knows me well enough to answer my prayers at the right time.

For those who don't know me as well, I think it is safe to say that I am a Christmas enthusiast. I love everything about this time of the year! The magic and beauty of the season has not dissipated as I've grown older; quite the opposite, in fact. I've started decorating for Christmas a little bit here and there as I have time throughout the day. One of my favorite Christmas decorations is a framed picture of Mary holding the baby Jesus and gently kissing Him on the forehead. I placed it at a prominent place in our home and every time I see it, it warms my heart.

What touches me most about this picture is the depiction of the Savior's humble beginning. He came to earth just as the rest of us did: as a tiny babe who depended completely on someone else for learning and growth. Although He was the Son of God, He was still subjected to the same human life cycle through which all of us must pass. He was not forced to be perfect, for this would go against the divine endowment of agency to each of us. Rather, He knew of His divine destiny and He made choices that made Him perfect. This is truly a tender mercy from God, that we have a Savior who understands us because He came to earth and lived as a human being. He lived a perfect life so that we could be perfected in Him.

Over the last week, I have been touched by this miracle on more than one occasion. I have become acutely aware of some of my weaknesses that I need to improve, but rather than being filled with sorrow or despair, I have been filled with hope in Jesus Christ. These weaknesses are not grievous sins, but simply little flaws in the way I handle certain situations. As I have repented and sought the enabling power of the atonement in my life, I have felt a quiet assurance that I can become better. I know that because the Savior lived a perfect life here on earth, He knows how to help me overcome my natural inclinations. This tender mercy has been a major part of my life up until now, and will continue to be for the rest of my existence. Just as the apostle Paul, I have a testimony that:

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." (Philipians 4:13)

For me, it is a tender mercy to know that Jesus Christ was subjected to all things. This includes anything that I have, do, and will go through. Yet, in spite of this, He remained true to His divine purpose and destiny with total perfection in all things. He can help me know what I need to do to improve because He has walked the path that I walked, and He is walking it with me once again. He is truly merciful, and I know that I can be one of His miracles if I will just let Him work in my life.

I have been contemplating the purpose of this blog more over the last week, and the Lord has helped me see part of why He inspired me to start this blog. As I have been searching for the Lord's hand in my life, I have felt a greater measure of His personal love for me. Feeling His love for me has strengthened me. I needed to feel His love so badly, and He knew that this would bring about that blessing for me. As I prayed to feel of His love, He inspired me to do something that would help bring that love into my life! What a strengthening and beautiful tender mercy this has been!

As I studied my scriptures yesterday, I came across this scripture in Ether 7:27:

 "...and he remembered the great things that the Lord had done for his fathers in bringing them across the great deep into the promised land; wherefore he did execute judgment in righteousness all his days."

While reading this scripture, I realized that King Orihah was able to "execute judgment in righteousness all his days" because "he remembered the great things that the Lord had done for his fathers." This is another thing that the Lord has been teaching me through searching for His tender mercies! I know that as I continue to see His hand in my life and remember the great things that He has done for me, it will strengthen me and help me remain righteous all my days.

To learn more about Jesus Christ and what He has done for you, visit http://mormon.org/jesus-christ