Recently, I have heard multiple young individuals mention that they are either scared of having children or that they have no desire to have any children. Hearing these statements has turned my innermost thoughts toward motherhood.
When I was a young girl, I always dreamed about being a mother. I loved babies and little children and I don't remember a time when I didn't have a strong desire to have children of my own. And now, here I am in the midst of my dream come true!
Words can't describe the sweet feeling of having tiny fingers wrap around my own finger and hold on tight. There is something about having a squishy cheek pressed against my own that seems to stop the hands of time for just that moment. I will never forget the moments when each of my newborn babies have been placed on my chest and I looked in their eyes and welcomed them to the world. I cherish the feeling of a small hand in my own as we walk alongside each other. These and many other small and simple moments make up for the many other mothering moments that have made me want to pull my hair out. (Yes, there have been too many moments like that to count. It is a miracle that I don't have my husband's hairdo!)
I often find myself cleaning up crushed Cheerios on my floor for what feels like the hundredth time in a day. I wash clothes, only to see them get dirty the following day. I mop floors, and dirty little feet track in sand and mud a few minutes later. I can't seem to keep a window or a mirror free from grubby little handprints for longer than a few hours. Cleaning at my house means that I am cleaning up one part of the house while my children (usually the youngest) is off making a mess somewhere else.
Sometimes, the beautiful and tender mothering moments I mentioned before fade into the background and I get lost in the seemingly endless to-do list of each day. I have found myself tempted to think, "Is this really what I signed up for? Did I work so hard in my schooling so that I could spend my life chasing from one chore to the next?"
The Lord, however, has taught me something very important. A mother is not someone who cooks or cleans. A mother is not someone who does laundry and sweeps floors. A mother is not someone who runs a taxi service. A mother is not someone who pays the bills. Yes, these are all tasks that are involved (and important) in making and keeping a home. Often, these tasks do fall upon the shoulders of mothers. However, these are also tasks that need to be done whether or not there are children in the home.
Even if a man or woman lives alone, or if there are no children in the home, bills still need to be paid. The floors still need sweeping. Laundry and dishes still need to be done. When you take a step back, these are all just tasks in and of themselves. Being mother is a separate and sacred role.
A mother is the gateway between the pre-mortal world and Earth. And Satan is keenly aware of this. He knows that Heavenly Father's spirit children have no way to get here to Earth without a mother who is willing to sacrifice her own body to house a new life. Heavenly Father's plan for us is utterly dependent on mothers. What an amazing trust He has placed in us!
If that is not enough, He then entrusts us with the responsibility of loving, teaching, and guiding those children through this life and helping them return again to the God who gave them life. There are some women, for whatever reason, who are never able to have children. And this is where they come in! A woman's motherly influence reaches beyond simply her own children. All women have innate gifts given to her from God that are specific and special to women. Anytime a woman uses her innate, divine gifts to bless any of God's children, she is part of this marvelous plan. She is fulfilling her role as a mother in God's kingdom.
The magnificence in this is that the service given to us by others - mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, friends - continues to live on inside of us. It shapes us and inspires us. And then it continues to bless others! Our own service and goodness blesses others that we never even meet. What a beautiful, tender miracle.
My heart is full today as I celebrate my motherhood. I am thankful for my mother and the many other women in my life who have shaped me and taught me. I know that as I continue on as a mother, I will still have moments where I want to pull my hair out. And although I do think my husband is quite handsome, I hope I don't give in because I don't think that hairstyle would look quite as good on me as it does on him!
I am thankful for the quiet whisperings of the Spirit. I am thankful that God inspired me to take a step back this week and let Him work in my thoughts. It is empowering to know that all of this is so much bigger than crushed Cheerios, temper tantrums, or mountains of laundry. It is about you and me. It is about Him and us. I pray that my Father in Heaven can always help me see the big picture and let my innate gifts and divine role define me rather than all of the things that I am "getting done."
