Kate was being so darn stubborn and difficult, throwing multiple tantrums a day, and I felt like we were always butting heads. I dreaded waking up in the morning because I knew what was coming, and to be honest, I usually did not feel emotionally ready to face the screaming and the attitude (or as we call it in our home, "tude".) Finally, thanks to the inspired visiting teaching message that a dear friend shared with me, I realized that I had not done a good job of taking my problem to the Lord. All this time I had been struggling, why hadn't I thought to take it to my Father in Heaven?
So, that is just what I did. I began to pray that Heavenly Father would help my dear, sweet Kate become dear and sweet again. Now, anyone who has ever prayed for a change in someone else is probably laughing at this point because they know exactly what is coming next. To my surprise, a change in Kate was not the answer that came. Rather, the Lord helped me recognize multiple things that I needed to change. Talk about a large piece of humble pie.
As hard as that pie was to swallow, I decided to take a bite, so to speak, and try to make some changes. As I began to implement the inspired changes, something amazing happened: Kate's behavior almost immediately improved. Kate and I were both noticeably happier. We got along better. We enjoyed our time together. There was a happier and more peaceful spirit in our home.The more I ate that humble pie, the easier it got to swallow and the more delicious it tasted as I saw the results that came from the changes I was making.
While I never would have chosen to endure a power struggle with a little girl, I am thankful for this experience and all that it taught me. I've always heard, "The only person you can change is yourself," but this experience made this statement a reality. I think that part of why change is so hard is because there is so much power that can come to us through making a change - but we have to earn it. And the adversary doesn't want us to realize how much power we actually do have. He wants us to feel helpless.
The changes that I made in myself were small, but they completely altered our home and provided an environment for Kate that inspired her to improve as well. Do we still have temper tantrums? Of course we do. (And when I say "we," yes, I am including myself in that statement.) Do we still have hard days? Definitely. However, I have learned the power that lies in my role as mother. As a mother, I play a major role in defining the kind of spirit that thrives within the walls of our home. I need to expect that my family will follow my lead, and if that lead is not a good one, how can I expect them to do better than I am doing myself?
I am thankful for a Heavenly Father who knows exactly how to answer my prayers. I am grateful that He gives me exactly what I need, not exactly what I want. He knows how to help me get the most out of my earthly experiences and make me better than I was before. Being a mom is the hardest thing I have ever done, but it is definitely the best thing I have ever done. The growing pains really do hurt; oh, how they hurt. But I can feel confident at the end of the day that I am standing a little taller if I handle them with love and grace that can only come from divine help.
I can't honestly say that I am looking forward to the next hurdle, but I can say that I am looking forward to the result: a better me. I know that if we take the problems to the Lord, He will bless us and help us. Sometimes, we may not recognize His answers because they will not always be exactly what we asked for. But those answers come - they always do.
